Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A Winter Poem in Spring

I'm looking out a window right now at that beautiful kind of wet snow that sticks to only the tops of tree branches and makes the whole world look like if you bit it, you'd taste ice cream.  Earlier, I took a walk in the beginnings of it, but it was still a pleasant surprise when I looked out later to see that it had covered everything.  I know it's almost April, and even my winter-loving self has to admit that it is now, by all official standards, spring.  I just think it's kind of funny that just because of that arbitrary division of months, some people act like this snow is an affront to the dignity of the world.

That got me thinking, too, about how we don't really get to decide when a lot of different things happen in life.  We can strive and try and even ask God for things, but they happen exactly when he wants them to happen, regardless of our plans or categories.  Just like it snows in April (and sometimes May too) in Cleveland. 

Then, I started thinking about the challenge of staying in the present.  I wrote last time about how the desire to have everything right now gets in our way.  However, that doesn't change the fact that right now is really the only moment we have to work with.  I think our problem comes when we spend now focusing on later or already.  When we do that, we effectively take ourselves out of the present.  What's more, we make it very difficult for people to connect to us because we are somewhere (or somewhen) else.

God is never like that, though.  As we try to become more like him, it's important to remember that he is definitionally the God who IS.  It's his name.  I AM.  Although he is not bound by time and experiences all the moments of it equally, he has dedicated his presence to being with us.  God with us, Immanuel, is really just a synonym for I AM in my mind.  If you look at how Jesus lived when he was here, he embodied this divine characteristic fully.  He was able to devote his full attention to wherever and whenever he was, and whoever he was with.  He knew so well how to be present.

Now, I don't think it's wrong for all you colder-blooded people to wish for warmer weather.  I just made the connection mentally that staying emotionally and spiritually present in our lives can be like trying to appreciate a snowstorm in spring.  If we can look past the potential inconvenience and the fact that the whole thing isn't what we were expecting (or hoping for in many cases), there is great beauty to be seen and enjoyed.  Although the seasons of our lives may not last as long or may last longer than we expect or want, God never fails to give us beauty out of our ashes (see Isaiah 61:3).  Instead of getting stuck on the beauty of the future (or past), why not stay in the present and enjoy what's there?

That's what I'm trying to do.  In fact, I've been trying to do it for awhile now, and this whole winter stream of consciousness reminded me of a poem I wrote a long time ago.  For some reason or other, snow has always been something that gets me thinking about these deeper things, I guess.  I'll end with this:

Comparison


faintly perceptible
falling in silence

uncounted stacking
of discrete moments

gentle brilliance
smiling, smoldering cold

overpowering flash
that marks restive roads

empty blanket plush
insulating clarity in the dark

silken momentum
across great distance

quiet everything covering
shining outer shells

restoring final stream
that gives growth future

indirect ocean
wave of frozen clean

and how could we be anywhere
but home?

5 comments:

Sarah said...

Haha... was this one for me?

Lol. I know it wasn't, but it was. I had to of played a part in the thought of this post by my choicest growling over winter conditions when its SUPPOSED to be spring. But then again... God's really been challenging me about being disappointed when things don't turn out the way I expect OR hope. I love surprises... but not the unpleasant OR possibly the unexpected kind that take me off guard and out of my game.

But then again, I am in HIS game of life, and He not only rolls the dice, He's the one who moves me too. Sigh. But anyway.... :) I like this post. (Now that I've written my own in response. sheesh)

Anonymous said...

Beautiful poem, Ben. It really touched something deep in me. I think I feel the same way about snow.
Mom

Kelsey said...

I've been thinking about the snow too. And about how God's timing is not our timing. Who says it can't snow in April? Just because we may want it to be spring already doesn't mean God doesn't want it to still snow. Who do we think we are to demand that it shouldn't? And it makes me think that the seasons in our lives may be blurry too - kind of an 'it's complicated' stage; it doesn't become spring overnight. It's reminding me to trust in God's timing. And I've been reading a book all about living in the now - "One Thousand Gifts". Good stuff, and quite the challenge.

Dillon said...

Funny as it sounds, I was kind of relieved when it started snowing again. Even though I'm looking forward to the spring, I feel like I'm not ready for it yet; like I haven't earned it. My life feels like that in some ways too. Even though there are things I've really wanted, and I've tried to make them mine somehow (like trying to make it spring), but I know I can't hold onto them. If I got them now, I don't think I'd know what to do with myself, or how I got to be where I would then be...which is why I need to get some idea of where I am right now, instead of where I could be.

I really like your poem, by the way.

It's hard to believe if you're not sure you're where you should be, but I think it's right: how could we be anywhere but home?

My way of stretching what you wrote, anyway :)

Ben said...

I haven't done this for awhile, so it's time for... a reply comment! I just always feel weird commenting on my own blog... but anyway, here goes:

Sarah--It wasn't just you, but you were the most recent of several people to do the same thing at the time when I was writing, so I admit that your comments influenced the writing of the post :)

Anonymous, aka Mom-- Thanks for the encouragement! And, it's good to know I come by this stuff honestly :)

Kelso-- First, it's good to see you back on blogger :) Also, that's a great point about how the seasons of our lives get blurry, just like there's really no clear dividing line between winter and spring (especially in Cleveland), despite the fact that we've picked a day when it "happens." I think I wish the seasons of my life were more defined like that too.

DP3-- It's true, whether we feel like it or not, that our home is in the present :) God is going to give you the things He has for you in his time, whether you've earned them or not, just like the seasons. It's good to be able to rest in that because earning life/manhood/grace is a pretty tough task! Glad you liked the poem, by the way.


Thanks everyone for taking time to comment! It makes this stuff more fun :)

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