Well, I've been writing like a madman all week (and last... and next), so I want to keep this short. I just thought I would give an update to the small world of my blog on how I did with my New Year's "resolutions" last year. As you may (or more likely, may not) recall, last year around this time I wrote a post denouncing the idea of New Year's resolutions and then made two of them in that same post. It seems only fair, seeing that I shared them with the world, that I let everyone know how they went.
First, I resolved to drink more water. I think it's safe to say that I definitely did that, but it happened fairly intermittently and not as consistently as I would like. It did result in me buying a nice water bottle that makes me much more likely to drink water, so that's definitely a positive. I think what really happened is that, toward the end of last year, I got really overwhelmed and all these high-minded resolution type things I was thinking about just went right out the door. I'm doing pretty well with this one this year so far, though.
The second resolution was to be on time for things. Keep in mind that when I wrote that one, I was completely unemployed. It's amazing what wonders having somewhere you have to be on time to or get fired will do for your punctuality. It's nothing like college, that's for sure :) Anyway, I feel like I've come a long way in this area. There was a momentary setback when I moved and didn't know how long it was going to take me to get anywhere for awhile, but now I think I'm back on track. I really like how life feels a lot better when I'm not constantly running late!
Speaking of that... well, first of all, I had a good talk with some friends recently about goals for the New Year. I said how I don't like resolutions, but a friend of mine challenged me that living life without goals is really dangerous. I knew I had to agree with him, and it led to a discussion about goals vs. resolutions. In a resolution, people tend to just resolve to be different, which is what I bristled against last year. Goals are more like a plan for long-term growth. What I ended up doing last year, really, was setting some goals: by the end of the year, I want to be doing better in this area.
So, this year I'm setting a goal again. I want to stop procrastinating. This is huge for me, because I've been this way for a long time, but I really want to do things before the last minute at least some of the time. The reason I've been writing like a maniac this week is because I let this enormous period of time I had to work on the huge project I'm under contract for elapse without doing hardly any of it. The deadline is in a week and three days and I still have a long, long way to go. Needless to say, this is dramatically reducing my quality of life. Completely aside from the fact that all I have time to do is write, the whole thing is also very stressful, what with the possibility of failure, humiliation, and worst of all: not getting paid.
Mind you, I think I'm going to make it. I have a plan for making it. I will do everything in my power to make it. The point is just that it didn't have to be like this. Even a little bit less procrastination would have made this month a much more enjoyable one. That's how I want to live in the future.
And one step further: I don't think I can be the things God is calling me to be if I won't learn to work ahead of time and get the procrastination under control. I live on my own now. If I won't get the things done that need to happen in my life, no one will (unless my roommate bails me out somehow, but that's different). It's time to man up and live like I care about where I'm going. Maybe this deadline crunch is exactly what I needed. It could end up getting me on the right start for not just the new year but for the rest of, you know... life.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Goals, past and present
Labels:
audience,
beginnings,
brokenness,
desperation,
identity,
my story,
reflection
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1 comment:
Hey Ben,
I've actually been thinking about this a lot recently (even before your post) because I am, or used to be, a huge procrastinator. But God's just been asking me lately "Why?" What is at the root cause of why I do what I do (no matter what it is), or don't do what I do want to do. I say I am so busy and stressed that I have no time for people. Or that the assignment takes forever. Or that that is just who I am.
But the reality is that I waste time, multi-task and therefore never really focus on my work, and spend a lot of time complaining and thinking about what I should do instead of doing it. If I just did things, then they wouldn't be clouding up my mental space in my mind so I could stop worrying about them.
I find that I do have time for people - a lot of time actually! And that despite doing more things than last semester, I enjoy it a lot more because I know I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, school-wise, in my best and most efficient manner, and really enjoying the work. I have discovered loads of free time, most of which God is using to teach me how to be a morning person (me?) who rises to listen to his Word. I have had awesome bible study time and times of reflection because I'm not spending that time worrying about what I'm supposed to be doing, or half-heartedly doing it in twice the time it really takes. I have been spontaneously getting together with people because I don't have to use each waking moment for school work.
I write this as encouragement because I have been there. And I know God has control over everything, and will give you the strength and the words, and his Word so that you may persevere and grow, and so that he may calm your fears because he will provide. And I most definitely don't claim to have it all together - I'm currently procrastinating on writing a personal statement! (without a definitive deadline!) I should just start it already. But thankfully God is continually transforming us, always correcting us, always encouraging us. And all we need to do is be still and know that He is God.
It's always cool to read what God has been teaching you! Hope you are doing well otherwise!
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