When I started this blog, I noted that in some ways it was a chronicle of my journey into the "real world," as far as I understood that at the time. The first entry was over a year ago now, written the day after I turned in my last paper and shut the door on college. The journey continues to be a long and strange one, and although I'm still not sure I know what the real world is, I believe I'm taking the next step towards it. Tomorrow begins the one year lease of my first apartment, my first time out from under my parents' roof.
I have lived in this house where I sit right now for 19 1/2 years, which is a pretty high percentage of a life of only 23 1/2. There are memories in every corner of it; in some ways it will always be home. It's time, though, and it's been time for a while now, for me to move on. I think it will be a spiritual change just as much if not more than a physical one.
It's funny, because for a long time I've thought of autumn as a time of new beginnings. I know everything is dying and falling and such, but it seems to me that new things are always beginning in this time. Maybe it's just that every school year offers the elusive possibility of a fresh start, but even now that I don't have that on my plate, things still feel new around the fall.
I have no idea what God wants to do in me in this season, but I want all of it. He's giving me a new road to walk down, and I don't want to miss any of it by taking unnecessary detours. I love my parents, and I'm blessed to know that I'll always have a place to return to if I need it. But for now, God is sending me to be a light on a new street. I look forward to writing again from there! For now, I'll end with a poem I wrote a long, long time ago that somehow feels very fresh and new to me right now. Things always cycle like that, I'm finding. Out of death comes new life; out of old things, new things are born. And fall doesn't really begin until you drink apple cider around a fire :)
Deeper
Floating in the same wind that brings
impending autumn, surrender
and freedom awaken together.
With hayrides and first
days of school
comes the dream that this fall
could be different,
the restless replaced
by anticipation,
a promise beating back
the patterns circling
viciously around—
a fall deeper, into one
transcending the changing seasons,
more faithful than the turning
leaves, who bears me in
their opposite direction,
resting in pursuit
and drinking apple cider
by the fire.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
How To Be a Good Customer in Three Easy Steps
Today, as I'm sure no one in the world knows, is my six-month anniversary of being hired as a server. In fact, I'm not even sure why I know that myself. It sounds like I'm in some sort of weird relationship...
Anyway, the experience has been and continues to be a very interesting one, and it certainly has given me a lot of new perspective on how I approach interactions with people who are serving me. Based on my experiences so far, I am ready to offer three basic rules for how to be a good customer. These apply specifically to a restaurant setting, but I'm sure they can easily be applied to any customer service situation. By following these three easy rules (and their corollaries), you can ensure that you are well-liked and appreciated by any customer service professional you encounter.
Rule #1: Remember that your server is a person.
--Corollary 1: The proper response to "How are you today?" is not "Coffee." When a person asks you that question (even if, horror of horrors, you haven't yet had coffee today), the standard social practice is to exchange pleasantries and then go from there. I mean, if this is a restaurant, do you really think I'm not going to get around to asking what you want to drink? Hey, even if you don't want to further validate my personhood by asking how I am doing in return, at least answer the question before moving on (and believe me, the extra five seconds or so you feel like this politeness might delay your precious coffee are nothing compared to how said coffee will plummet down your server's list of priorities if you aren't polite).
--Corollary 2: Servers, like all normal humans, can only be in one place at a time. Therefore, they also engage in the standard human practice of prioritizing the activities they need to perform. Chances are, they also have four other tables that require attention. Therefore, you will have to wait for things sometimes. Don't blame your server; blame physics. Helpful comments like "I'm still waiting for such and such random request I made to be fulfilled" do not cause the laws of physics to be suspended even temporarily.
--Corollary 3: Your server cannot read your mind. Therefore, if you would like something to happen, you're going to have to ask. Your incredulous stare and wrinkled up nose and high pitched cry of "You put this all on the same bill??" will not somehow go back in time and inform me that you wanted the check to be split if you didn't say anything about it. Nor will I be able to somehow know that "they always make this dish for me some other random way that isn't in the menu" before I bring it to you the normal way... unless you say something. There are 25 other servers that work here, and I've never seen you before, and even if I have, it still isn't my job to commit your favorite idiosyncratic order to memory. Also, servers have no other form of extrasensory perception either-- if your food is cold, I'm sorry, but I had no way of knowing that because I didn't touch or taste it on the way out to you. The plate was warm, and the cooks are the ones responsible. In summary, servers do not deserve blame for failure to possess superpowers.
--Corollary 4: Servers, like other citizens of free countries, make decisions on their own free will. So feel free to try commanding me like I'm your slave, but just remember that I have the freedom to delay, demean, or disregard your request. I do so at the risk of my tip, but I'll let you in on a secret: I already know that the demanding people are NOT the ones who end up tipping well in the end anyway. It's a value judgment. I don't have time to be running back and forth on your every whim when I know you aren't going to be a good tipper. Meanwhile, my nice tables that I can make bank on would just be sitting there waiting, and that just isn't going to happen. Requests work just as well, if not better, than commands.
**Personal pet peeve related to this topic: "Please and thank you." As in, "do this crazy thing I want, please and thank you." This clever ruse perpetrated by rude people takes two normally polite phrases and combines them into one impolite one, making what seems like a request into a command about which the recipient has no choice. Adding the thank you makes unquestioning obedience a foregone conclusion. But what if I don't do it? Will you want to take your thank you back? Also, if I do follow your bidding, you probably won't say thank you again thinking that the first compound one covered it, which is also rude. General rule: Please = polite. Thank you = polite. Please and thank you = annoying.
Rule #2: Remember that you are a person (i.e. not God).
--Corollary 1: The customer is not always right. Sometimes, they are wrong and we're just letting them think they're right. Even if they were always right, this would not be an excuse for being demeaning or overly demanding of their servers, who are people exactly like them and don't deserve the rudeness.
--Corollary 2: The whole restaurant does not revolve around you. Darn physics, it gotcha again. Basically, if your server has five tables, they each have just as much right to his or her time as you do, and it would be helpful if you understood this. Making your server run around like a crazy person is not only rude to him or her, but also to everyone else he or she is serving (and those people, by the way, are noticing how rude you're being).
--Corollary 3: Order off the freaking menu. You are not so special that not one of these 70 choices is good enough for you (And if you are, why are you at this plain old little restaurant?). Hey, if you don't eat pork and you want turkey bacon instead of regular, ok. You're a vegetarian and you want extra hash browns instead of meat, I can deal with that. But there is absolutely no need to start picking ingredients from other dishes and haphazardly combining them into your own creation. Go to BD's for that. Do you have any idea how the cooks look at me when I send back your order? They hate you, and they hate me for trying to accommodate you. We have a menu, and those are the choices. If you don't want any of them, there are plenty of other restaurants.
Rule #3: Tip well.
Honestly, you can do whatever you want with the other rules if you follow this one. I don't care how demanding and incomprehensible you were, if you leave 25% or more, you can sit with me anytime. Conversely, you can follow all the other rules and still be remembered as a worthless cheapskate if you don't follow this one. Remember, this is a server's livelihood, the proverbial bottom line. This is how to make an impact in the life of a server.
So that's it! Follow those three easy steps, and you will be the toast of the customer service industry in no time. Thanks for reading, and good luck!
(By the way, I realize that some of my suggestions might sound slightly angry... and I'm ok with that. Truth be told, some of these things are frustrating, and writing about them is helpful in processing that. Just know that, all in all, I actually enjoy being a server and that most people aren't like the ones I'm using as my "hypothetical" examples, nor am I suggesting that anyone who reads this blog is like that. I assume that my readers are the very models of decorum and courtesy, and it's written using the collective "you" just for effect. Just don't let me catch you being one of those people, please and thank you :)
p.s. Am I right? Wasn't that annoying?
p.p.s. Did you like how I closed the parenthesis with a smiley, though? That's an online grammar innovation that I am, as far as I know, the pioneer of. It has nothing to do with customer service, but smiling at people who are serving you is helpful too... ok, I'm done now.
Anyway, the experience has been and continues to be a very interesting one, and it certainly has given me a lot of new perspective on how I approach interactions with people who are serving me. Based on my experiences so far, I am ready to offer three basic rules for how to be a good customer. These apply specifically to a restaurant setting, but I'm sure they can easily be applied to any customer service situation. By following these three easy rules (and their corollaries), you can ensure that you are well-liked and appreciated by any customer service professional you encounter.
Rule #1: Remember that your server is a person.
--Corollary 1: The proper response to "How are you today?" is not "Coffee." When a person asks you that question (even if, horror of horrors, you haven't yet had coffee today), the standard social practice is to exchange pleasantries and then go from there. I mean, if this is a restaurant, do you really think I'm not going to get around to asking what you want to drink? Hey, even if you don't want to further validate my personhood by asking how I am doing in return, at least answer the question before moving on (and believe me, the extra five seconds or so you feel like this politeness might delay your precious coffee are nothing compared to how said coffee will plummet down your server's list of priorities if you aren't polite).
--Corollary 2: Servers, like all normal humans, can only be in one place at a time. Therefore, they also engage in the standard human practice of prioritizing the activities they need to perform. Chances are, they also have four other tables that require attention. Therefore, you will have to wait for things sometimes. Don't blame your server; blame physics. Helpful comments like "I'm still waiting for such and such random request I made to be fulfilled" do not cause the laws of physics to be suspended even temporarily.
--Corollary 3: Your server cannot read your mind. Therefore, if you would like something to happen, you're going to have to ask. Your incredulous stare and wrinkled up nose and high pitched cry of "You put this all on the same bill??" will not somehow go back in time and inform me that you wanted the check to be split if you didn't say anything about it. Nor will I be able to somehow know that "they always make this dish for me some other random way that isn't in the menu" before I bring it to you the normal way... unless you say something. There are 25 other servers that work here, and I've never seen you before, and even if I have, it still isn't my job to commit your favorite idiosyncratic order to memory. Also, servers have no other form of extrasensory perception either-- if your food is cold, I'm sorry, but I had no way of knowing that because I didn't touch or taste it on the way out to you. The plate was warm, and the cooks are the ones responsible. In summary, servers do not deserve blame for failure to possess superpowers.
--Corollary 4: Servers, like other citizens of free countries, make decisions on their own free will. So feel free to try commanding me like I'm your slave, but just remember that I have the freedom to delay, demean, or disregard your request. I do so at the risk of my tip, but I'll let you in on a secret: I already know that the demanding people are NOT the ones who end up tipping well in the end anyway. It's a value judgment. I don't have time to be running back and forth on your every whim when I know you aren't going to be a good tipper. Meanwhile, my nice tables that I can make bank on would just be sitting there waiting, and that just isn't going to happen. Requests work just as well, if not better, than commands.
**Personal pet peeve related to this topic: "Please and thank you." As in, "do this crazy thing I want, please and thank you." This clever ruse perpetrated by rude people takes two normally polite phrases and combines them into one impolite one, making what seems like a request into a command about which the recipient has no choice. Adding the thank you makes unquestioning obedience a foregone conclusion. But what if I don't do it? Will you want to take your thank you back? Also, if I do follow your bidding, you probably won't say thank you again thinking that the first compound one covered it, which is also rude. General rule: Please = polite. Thank you = polite. Please and thank you = annoying.
Rule #2: Remember that you are a person (i.e. not God).
--Corollary 1: The customer is not always right. Sometimes, they are wrong and we're just letting them think they're right. Even if they were always right, this would not be an excuse for being demeaning or overly demanding of their servers, who are people exactly like them and don't deserve the rudeness.
--Corollary 2: The whole restaurant does not revolve around you. Darn physics, it gotcha again. Basically, if your server has five tables, they each have just as much right to his or her time as you do, and it would be helpful if you understood this. Making your server run around like a crazy person is not only rude to him or her, but also to everyone else he or she is serving (and those people, by the way, are noticing how rude you're being).
--Corollary 3: Order off the freaking menu. You are not so special that not one of these 70 choices is good enough for you (And if you are, why are you at this plain old little restaurant?). Hey, if you don't eat pork and you want turkey bacon instead of regular, ok. You're a vegetarian and you want extra hash browns instead of meat, I can deal with that. But there is absolutely no need to start picking ingredients from other dishes and haphazardly combining them into your own creation. Go to BD's for that. Do you have any idea how the cooks look at me when I send back your order? They hate you, and they hate me for trying to accommodate you. We have a menu, and those are the choices. If you don't want any of them, there are plenty of other restaurants.
Rule #3: Tip well.
Honestly, you can do whatever you want with the other rules if you follow this one. I don't care how demanding and incomprehensible you were, if you leave 25% or more, you can sit with me anytime. Conversely, you can follow all the other rules and still be remembered as a worthless cheapskate if you don't follow this one. Remember, this is a server's livelihood, the proverbial bottom line. This is how to make an impact in the life of a server.
So that's it! Follow those three easy steps, and you will be the toast of the customer service industry in no time. Thanks for reading, and good luck!
(By the way, I realize that some of my suggestions might sound slightly angry... and I'm ok with that. Truth be told, some of these things are frustrating, and writing about them is helpful in processing that. Just know that, all in all, I actually enjoy being a server and that most people aren't like the ones I'm using as my "hypothetical" examples, nor am I suggesting that anyone who reads this blog is like that. I assume that my readers are the very models of decorum and courtesy, and it's written using the collective "you" just for effect. Just don't let me catch you being one of those people, please and thank you :)
p.s. Am I right? Wasn't that annoying?
p.p.s. Did you like how I closed the parenthesis with a smiley, though? That's an online grammar innovation that I am, as far as I know, the pioneer of. It has nothing to do with customer service, but smiling at people who are serving you is helpful too... ok, I'm done now.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Devotion
There's an old saying that goes, "Don't put all your eggs in the same basket." This is commonly regarded as wisdom, since obviously if you drop the one basket carrying all your eggs, you then have zero eggs, which would be the worst possible outcome.
I'm not sure it works that way in God's kingdom, though. Check this out:
"Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress."
--Paul, in 1 Timothy 4:13-15
Paul is asking Timothy to put all his eggs in one basket. Devote yourself, be diligent, give yourself wholly. These are all or nothing phrases.
I think we shy away from approaching life like this for a couple of reasons. For one thing, devoting yourself to anything (which implies complete focus and being set apart for a task--similar to holiness, actually) is hard work by definition. It is all consuming, and a lot of us have trouble committing to things like that. So, laziness gets in our way.
Even deeper than that, though, I feel like we avoid this devoted lifestyle because of fear. We are somehow afraid that it won't turn out to be that great and we'll be left with nothing else after the eggs drop. We really don't think God's plan is the best, so we follow halfway just in case it is the best, while also making our own plans and holding onto those. It doesn't seem to work, but that doesn't usually stop us. Maybe that's why Jesus said we have to lose our lives to save them.
Then another thing we fear is the reaction of others. Paul comes right out and tells Timothy that everyone will see his progress: little or much, good or bad, it will be right out there. Streetlights are right out in the open, not hidden. If we devote our lives to following the Lord, people will be able to tell, and our successes and failures will be much more visible if we're willing to be real. I think that's why we paradoxically try to save face by not trying as hard as we can. That way if what we're doing fails, we always have the out that "we weren't really trying our very hardest." Who knows what would have happened if we were?
So that's where I find myself today. I know that I want to devote myself to following God, reading the word, and using my spiritual gifts. I want to be diligent. I want to devote myself wholly to this. I am also afraid. But, I know the times when I am most devoted to God are the times I am most free. The same decision presents itself every day, every hour, every moment. All I know is, regardless of my past choices, my current fears, or old sayings, right now I choose devotion.
I'm not sure it works that way in God's kingdom, though. Check this out:
"Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress."
--Paul, in 1 Timothy 4:13-15
Paul is asking Timothy to put all his eggs in one basket. Devote yourself, be diligent, give yourself wholly. These are all or nothing phrases.
I think we shy away from approaching life like this for a couple of reasons. For one thing, devoting yourself to anything (which implies complete focus and being set apart for a task--similar to holiness, actually) is hard work by definition. It is all consuming, and a lot of us have trouble committing to things like that. So, laziness gets in our way.
Even deeper than that, though, I feel like we avoid this devoted lifestyle because of fear. We are somehow afraid that it won't turn out to be that great and we'll be left with nothing else after the eggs drop. We really don't think God's plan is the best, so we follow halfway just in case it is the best, while also making our own plans and holding onto those. It doesn't seem to work, but that doesn't usually stop us. Maybe that's why Jesus said we have to lose our lives to save them.
Then another thing we fear is the reaction of others. Paul comes right out and tells Timothy that everyone will see his progress: little or much, good or bad, it will be right out there. Streetlights are right out in the open, not hidden. If we devote our lives to following the Lord, people will be able to tell, and our successes and failures will be much more visible if we're willing to be real. I think that's why we paradoxically try to save face by not trying as hard as we can. That way if what we're doing fails, we always have the out that "we weren't really trying our very hardest." Who knows what would have happened if we were?
So that's where I find myself today. I know that I want to devote myself to following God, reading the word, and using my spiritual gifts. I want to be diligent. I want to devote myself wholly to this. I am also afraid. But, I know the times when I am most devoted to God are the times I am most free. The same decision presents itself every day, every hour, every moment. All I know is, regardless of my past choices, my current fears, or old sayings, right now I choose devotion.
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